Mom fires back at critics who call breastfeeding her 4-year-old “inappropriate”

A South African mother is responding to criticism after sharing that she still breastfeeds her 4-year-old daughter. Shinnai Visser, a 34-year-old mother of two from Cape Town, openly shares her parenting choices online, including homeschooling, home birth and allowing her children to develop at their own pace. But it was her decision to continue breastfeeding her older daughter that sparked the strongest reactions.

Some commenters have called the practice inappropriate or argued that her daughter is too old to breastfeed. Visser, however, says people are judging her without understanding the situation. Speaking to People, she explained that nursing at this age is no longer primarily about nutrition, but about comfort, connection and reassurance. She also pointed out that extended breastfeeding is practiced in some cultures around the world.

According to Visser, her 4-year-old does not breastfeed every day. She says it may happen when her daughter is tired, upset or simply needs comfort, while some days can pass without her asking. At this stage, Visser describes it as brief, calm and child-led rather than something that replaces regular meals or activities.

Despite the criticism, Visser says she has no shame about her choice. She believes secure attachment can help children develop confidence and independence rather than prevent it. “Independence grows best from secure attachment, not forced separation,” she told People. Ultimately, she says every family is different and hopes parents can make choices based on what works for their children without being harshly judged.

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