A 70-year-old widow decided it was time to marry again, so she placed an advertisement seeking a husband her age who wouldn’t beat her, cheat on her, and could still perform in the bedroom. The next day, a gray-haired man in a wheelchair arrived at her door. He had no arms or legs. She immediately questioned how he could possibly meet her requirements.

The man smiled and explained that because he had no legs, he couldn’t run around on her, and because he had no arms, he couldn’t beat her. Still curious, she asked whether he was capable of being good in bed. The man leaned back with a grin and replied, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

A 70-year-old woman once stayed at an expensive hotel and was shocked when she received a $250 bill. She complained that the room wasn’t worth that much, especially since she hadn’t used the swimming pool, conference center, or attended any of the hotel’s shows. The manager calmly explained that all those facilities were available to her, whether she used them or not.

The woman eventually handed him a check for only $50. Surprised, the manager pointed out that the bill was $250. She replied that she had deducted $200 because he could have slept with her. When the manager protested that he hadn’t done so, she simply answered, “Too bad. I was here, and you could have.” 😄