Fred and Mary got married but couldn’t afford a honeymoon, so they spent their first night at Fred’s parents’ house. The next morning, Fred’s little brother Johnny asked, “Mom, are Fred and Mary up yet?” She said no. “I think they—” he began, but she quickly interrupted: “I don’t want to hear what you think. Go to school!” Johnny asked again at lunch and after school, receiving the same response. Finally, his mother sighed, “All right, tell me what you think.” Johnny replied, “Last night Fred came to my room asking for Vaseline, and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”

A young couple on their honeymoon decided to swim in their hotel’s large pool. The bride wore a new bikini, but it turned out to be too loose, and both pieces kept coming off as they swam. Since they were alone, they laughed and repeatedly retrieved the bikini from the bottom of the pool. That evening, they dressed for dinner and noticed a huge aquarium beside their table. Strangely, it contained no fish. When the bride asked the waiter about it, he smiled and said, “That’s not an aquarium… that’s the swimming pool!”

Another newlywed couple returned home after their honeymoon and eventually opened all their wedding gifts. A week later, they received two tickets to a popular show, along with a note saying, “Guess who sent them?” They had fun trying to figure it out but never succeeded. After enjoying the show, they returned home late that night—only to discover that everything valuable in their house had been stolen. On the empty dining table was another note, written in the same handwriting: “Now you know!”