You heard it here first, folks. Kevin Costner has officially cast Roseanne Barr in a $30 million leading role in his latest project, according to an exclusive interview. Costner expressed his belief that Barr was the perfect fit for the role, which he described as a bitter old hag reminiscent of the matriarch from “Throw Momma from the Train.”

Costner revealed that the role requires a unique skill set that he believes only Barr possesses. He described her character as someone who grunts angrily and stares at everyone, giving the impression that she’s the smartest person in the room, despite having lost touch with anything meaningful due to a warped post-menopausal love for jerks.

While Barr has not responded to requests for comment, Costner plans to assemble an all-star cast willing to work alongside her. Names like Baio, Carano, and Tim Allen have been rumored to be involved, with Allen potentially serving as a consultant.

The project is expected to be a comedic hit, coming to theaters shortly after Barr’s new show airs on NBC, Fox, or whichever network it ultimately lands on.